The BLoG MuSe

Better than anti-depressants! … Sort of.

Daily Archives: December 23, 2010

To My HuSbAnD:

On your Birthday this year…

1. Forget the past, you won’t be able to remember it soon anyway.

2. Forget the present, I kinda forgot to get you one.

3. Something about the Future… umm… maybe getting drunk on the way home was a bad idea. Sorry honey! I love you.


People Watching

I often find myself in a crowded place tucked back into the comfort of a corner or wall where I can sit idly and watch my surroundings pass in all their different speeds. Some people at Mach3… some at a slower more appreciative pace. All of them with an agenda of their own and entirely clueless as to how fascinating they are to me. Most of them, nearly all of them are so wrapped up in whatever they’re doing that they don’t even notice me. Those who do are greeted with a simple smile but still no insight into the inquisitive nature behind my purpose, to which of course there really isn’t one. After all…. I’m simply observing society. I wonder where these passersby are going… each of them. And what they’ll do when they get there. Who are they? What type of family did they grow up in? I know that I’ve had my own set of struggles and unique stories and if anyone ever asked me about certain things I would certainly burst out into tears, other things laughter and other things smiles. So surely, these people must all be the same in their way. They all have stories, past present and future. They have thoughts…. what must they be thinking?? Are any of them wondering about this lonely girl sitting at a table in a corner of the room by herself? Do any of them wonder what it is I am thinking?

People. People are so fascinating! So they all must have a history and of course thoughts. But perhaps the best part about people is what they DO. Their interractions with other people and what they do when they think no one is watching or when they think they are alone!! Oh boy. Thinking about this just makes me warm and fuzzy with giggles.

Nose Pickers, you’re awesome. I could write a whole blog entry just about you. In fact one day I probably will. You got a bad reputation somewhere along the way… In my opinion, as long as the finger doesn’t enter the oral vicinity… pick away!! It’s liberating! It’s freeing! and after all, it cleans out your nose WAY better than that dumb Kleenex ever could. Breathing is better. Ahhhhh…. feels good. Now go smell the roses!

Wedgie pickers, pick away. Despite the humor involved, no one wants to walk around with their underoos crunched up into an awkward battle of anus vs. fabric! Lets face it, human butt cheeks really aren’t meant to spread out like that. I’ll just leave everyone with that visual.

Moving on… Self Conversationalists. You are probably my favorite!!! No one appreciates the value that you bring to society. I do! You talk to yourself but try to pretend that you’re not. Some of you get a little embarrassed and shrug it off. Others of you go to GREAT LENGTHS to pretend that you weren’t. You are by far the funniest. I’m going to be honest with you… most of us don’t care that you were talking to yourself so you probably don’t need to stumble all over yourself and dump out half the contents of your purse or pocket trying to find your phone trying to act like that’s what you were doing. Save yourself the additional embarrassment and just own it. We all have little moments, it’s totally OK!

Other people’s teenage children: I was you once. I too thought I was cute and not at all troublesome, bratty, annoying, and all those other things adults accused me of. Guess what? YOU ARE. Go buy some clothes that fit, ask your parents to discipline you and take your cell phone away because whatever you’re doing while you’re out of your parents sight is surely something they would not approve of. Why do I know? I might be old, but I was once your age!

And the list goes on… People watching my friends, is the worlds best form of free entertainment! And you can do it anywhere. I used to do it in traffic jams! I’m telling you, American Idol had nothing on these people I used to be stuck in traffic with!!!

"By the time you can drive…"

Oh Yeah Mom… Where the hell is my flying car?!?

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