The BLoG MuSe

Better than anti-depressants! … Sort of.

Daily Archives: February 4, 2011

And Now I know Why It’s Dangerous For Me to be Off My Meds…

My Sister and I regularly have convresations that I ask myself  “What must our conversations look like to other people?” Well, I still don’t know but I do know that a carnie shark would be like the coolest thing on the planet. EVER.  

Fish: so I think I’m going to do laser. LHE.

Me: So do they like point a shark with a laser on it’s head at you, or what? Because I’m pretty sure Sharks with lasers are dangerous. 

Fish: I’m sure 

Me: Do you think that you could take pictures or have visitors during the process? I’ve always wanted to see a shark + laser in action. 

Fish: Of Course.

Me:  How much do you think they pay the shark? Surely it’s not good for his health… he needs hazard pay 

Fish: Probably double  

Me: I bet they feed him the people that don’t survive too. That would totally be worth it for him. Lunch and a show. Do you think he gets pissed off when people won’t sit still? 

Fish: LOL

Me: seriously though, I wonder what happens when he gets all mad… does he like turn into HULK Shark? I’d totally pay to see a HULKY Shark with a laser. If so, he should really be in a circus and not a dermatologist’s office. I think he’d make more money there.

Fish: He could be a carnie and travel he carnival. We could catch him at the state fair 

Me: For real. But then do you have to pay the midgets for your laser treatment, or??… 

See full size image That’s our shark! He walks and he shoots his laser to give you amazing skin. But he also has a side-job as a carnie because he has a shark family to feed and they all don’t have lasers so they can’t just shoot their laser to kill their prey. And also, it has a laser sound effect when he does shoot stuff… you know, like *Pfew*Pfew* — FYI- the “F” is silent.

* And that’s about the time she stopped responding* I think maybe she realized the only way to get me to stop is to stop playing along. Except I didn’t stop…what a pain I am.  (*temporarily anyway… then the conversation continued on about flesh-eating cobras – FECs- and how the Bank of America = BOA = Boa constrictor… it’s really a long story)

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You Can Totally Milk an Iguana

So yeah. Pretty much I think Craig has gotten used to my randomness. I ask him to please please please get me Stroganoff from Noodles & Co. for lunch because I pretty much feel that I need it  or I might die. Which is of course how I convince him to leave work, go out in the snow, and get me some heavenly goodness of comfort food. (mind you we DO have a cafeteria here at work but the food is marginal at best and they sure don’t serve Noodles & Co. Stroganoff or else I would eat there like every day. Can you die from too much Stroganoff? Nah…)

Anyway, I send him out in the cold. Oh and by the way… can you please pick up something for my sister?? You know, since you’re out anyway?? Of course he tells me yes because he’s my knight-in-shining-armor. So I tell him “THANKS BABE!! You’re my lunchtime hero and I will re-pay you in Iguana eggs”…. His response is “you’re welcome.”  NOTHING (!!!) about the Iguana eggs. Apparently he knows that I’m either full of it or that I actually went out and bought an Iguana at some point and I plan some kind of “squeezing-out-of-the-eggs” RITUAL like a crazy person… ? My money is on the latter of the two. He must know I am already squeezing the life out of that sucker as we speak. Funny though, I didn’t know you could get Iguana milk too, just by squeezing it? (Oh how my husband must love me.)

See full size image << Iguana. AKA: la victima. (see, that dude is squeezing it for eggs! cool huh? too bad he’s missing the ritualistic headdress and feather boa that makes his ritual genuine.)

See full size image << Look at what Craig will get out of the eggs I pay him in? MORE IGUANAS. YAY!!!! Sorry I couldn’t find any pictures of Iguana milk… Apparently because it is an extremely rare delicacy and I will make millions for the little bit that I did manage to get out. Awesome. I am going straight to EBay! Happy bidding friends! Happy bidding.

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