I Used to Be Funnier…
Calendar of Awesomeness
Better than anti-depressants! … Sort of.
My Sister and I regularly have convresations that I ask myself “What must our conversations look like to other people?” Well, I still don’t know but I do know that a carnie shark would be like the coolest thing on the planet. EVER.
Fish: so I think I’m going to do laser. LHE.
Me: So do they like point a shark with a laser on it’s head at you, or what? Because I’m pretty sure Sharks with lasers are dangerous.
Fish: I’m sure
Me: Do you think that you could take pictures or have visitors during the process? I’ve always wanted to see a shark + laser in action.
Fish: Of Course.
Me: How much do you think they pay the shark? Surely it’s not good for his health… he needs hazard pay
Fish: Probably double
Me: I bet they feed him the people that don’t survive too. That would totally be worth it for him. Lunch and a show. Do you think he gets pissed off when people won’t sit still?
Me: seriously though, I wonder what happens when he gets all mad… does he like turn into HULK Shark? I’d totally pay to see a HULKY Shark with a laser. If so, he should really be in a circus and not a dermatologist’s office. I think he’d make more money there.
Fish: He could be a carnie and travel he carnival. We could catch him at the state fair
Me: For real. But then do you have to pay the midgets for your laser treatment, or??…
That’s our shark! He walks and he shoots his laser to give you amazing skin. But he also has a side-job as a carnie because he has a shark family to feed and they all don’t have lasers so they can’t just shoot their laser to kill their prey. And also, it has a laser sound effect when he does shoot stuff… you know, like *Pfew*Pfew* — FYI- the “F” is silent.
* And that’s about the time she stopped responding* I think maybe she realized the only way to get me to stop is to stop playing along. Except I didn’t stop…what a pain I am. (*temporarily anyway… then the conversation continued on about flesh-eating cobras – FECs- and how the Bank of America = BOA = Boa constrictor… it’s really a long story)